I was reading about a Saint today in my copy of the Magnificat. His name is St Walter of Pontoise. He wanted to become a monk and joined a monastery. However, he was asked to become the Abbot of the monastery. There must have been something about him that made the people around him feel that he was right for this vocation. However he didn’t want to be the abbot and ran away. The monks went off and looked for him, found him and brought him back. He ran away a second time and set up home in a hermitage on an island in the middle of a river. Again, the monks found him and brought him back. He asked the Pope to release him from this post, but was told he must use the talents God had given him. He decided to accept his elevation to Abbot and was untiring, hard working and everything that was predicted about him being the best person for the job was right. He decided to accept his vocation and did the very best that he could.
His story reminded me of others such as Jonah and the Whale and Balaam and his donkey (The Book of Jonah and Numbers 22 – do have a look at the stories). Both occasions where people who are asked to do something by God run away and what happens to them as a result! In their cases, God was determined they would do as he asked.
I think sometimes we are given tasks to do and we let our insecurities overwhelm us and want to run away. I’ve certainly done that a few times in my life and I do look back and wonder if I had just got on with it, then all would have been well. We have to put these insecurities before God and tell him that we need his help to build up our confidence to tackle those things that he wants us to do. What is in the past should rest in the past. If you have said no to a task you were asked to perform in fear and insecurity, then you should move on. It is done. God always finds someone to do his work and will ask the next person and he doesn’t hold grudges.
It is difficult to know sometimes what is a God given request and what is simply human and it is only with listening to God’s answer to our questions about this that we will find peace and comfort in accepting or refusing demands on our time and talents.
God bless you and may he assist you in divining his will,
Widows Mote 