Over this past year during various lockdowns and to be safe in-between, we have been having our prayer group online and there is also a WhatsApp group to post messages. It is good to be able to continue and I do appreciate that without this facility, we could only email each other and wait until a better time to be able to meet up.
The internet does fulfil a need in this respect, but strangely enough, I haven’t felt as connected to the group as when we meet in person. Somehow being online and messaging seems to distort how we come across to each other. People speak over you, they reply to messages and sometimes ignore yours and I think there is less sensitivity to how other members of the group feel. It’s rather like being back at school again. You are trapped in a room with a diverse group of people, albeit online, and you can feel sidelined. I also felt that we spent far too much time on small talk rather than the purpose for which we were meeting. I have had to leave this group for a while and have managed to set up a small group with a friend which feels much more ‘connected’ and we make sure that each of us spends the time we need for the prayers and in making sure we are ok.
My youngest son prefers to contact me via messaging. I feel a lot of meaning is lost in those messages and you can’t say everything you would like to as you like to keep them short. If I text and say I’d like a chat, I get a text back asking if there is a problem. I just want to talk for a while, but I don’t feel offended he has asked this because this is how it all seems to work for some of our younger age group.
I feel we should try to not let the internet take over our relationships. It is good for a quick message and for many other things but in order to connect properly with each other, we need to be physically together or if that isn’t possible, then a phone call is so much better. This way there won’t be the misunderstandings and unsaid feelings and taking time to be with someone expresses love more than a distant message. Emailing and texting keeps people at a distance and can lead to a much colder friendship.
God bless you and help you to connect fully with your family and friends in this very difficult time x
Widows Mote 