I have just listened to a talk about waiting to see what God wants us to do for his Kingdom here on earth. Unless it is obvious, e.g you are a Priest, Pastor, or hold some other position in a christian organisation, it isn’t easy to know, and waiting until we feel he has pointed us in some direction can lead to impatience and trying to do things he hasn’t asked us to do.
I loved studying theology at a catholic institute. For me, it is the most interesting subject you can ever study – many areas are covered: history, geography, culture, art, literature, poetry – I could list so many more. You could never be bored.
I wanted to impart my enthusiasm when I finished my course and not knowing what else to do, I decided to train to be a secondary school teacher specialising in religious studies. By this stage I was approaching my fifties and did worry that I might be too old, but there were others on my course who were also training to teach at an older age and so that encouraged me.
Going back to a secondary school after so many years (30+), I was horrified at the changes in schools. Behaviour was one of the biggest issues and I couldn’t understand how it was that children had become so out of control in the classroom. The other problem was that I couldn’t adapt to how subjects are taught – constantly flitting from one topic to another and not covering anything in any depth.
Looking back on my experience I realise that I hadn’t involved God at all in my decision. Here I was with my new qualification and knowledge and I wanted to much to pass this on and particularly help children to have a deeper understanding of what we believe (including different religions as well). I just launched myself at it and quickly found myself out of my depth and overwhelmed. Should I have kept going? I don’t know – perhaps it all would have got better – but I do think if God wants you to something, he provides all you need to help you with the work he wants you to do. Deep down, I knew it wasn’t my calling and sadly had to leave the course.
I think the lesson for me is that I should have waited to understand what God wanted me to do, if anything. Perhaps he just wanted me to understand more about the God I believe in and the church I belong to. It has certainly helped me when I have led prayer groups and I enjoy the new courses I do because of this background knowledge.
Don’t push yourself to do something if it doesn’t feel right for you. God will let you know what he has in store for your life.
God bless you and may you find your calling,
Widows Mote 