The best definition of loving someone that I ever read was that it involved ‘wanting the best for the other person’. I always thought that it involved our heart and our emotions and found it hard to say to myself that I was doing my best to love when I didn’t feel anything. We can’t love everyone, but we can make sure that with any involvement we have with someone, we are helping them in the best way that we can.
One of the greatest problems in this relationship of love is that we have to be so careful that when we are told someone’s problems and/or asked for advice, we try not to place ourselves in their situation. Often advice is given from the basis of how you are feeling about something and what you would do. This isn’t always good for the person seeking help or comfort. What you would do or advise for them might not necessarily be the best course. We can accidentally become frenemies because we interfere rather than help.
We also have to beware of any negative feelings we have, such as jealousy, creeping into our advice. Possibly without knowing it, we could be jealous of a relationship or talent and that can form part of the advice we give because it is tainted by these feelings.
This all came to mind today because it is ‘Spy Wednesday’ named after the time when Judas is spying out how he can betray Jesus. He was one of the disciples and close to Jesus and yet in spite of loving him and being allowed to get so close to him, he let his feelings lead him into this awful act. We can similarly let love turn into jealousy and spite so easily and we need to be aware when this is happening and draw back from that relationship as it is unhealthy and give those feelings to God so that he can bring healing.
My favourite quote from St Paul sums up this kind of love:
1 Corinthians 13
Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
God bless you and help you to love the people around you,
Widows Mote 