I grew up in a catholic family and it is a faith I feel comfortable with following. I dropped out of going to church for a long time during my university years and for about a decade after and then returned. I still prayed, mostly the Our Father and a few short prayers for my family and I feel I kept in touch with my God. It was also having my own family too and wanting my children to be brought up to believe the same things that I did. When I returned so much had changed that I didn’t recognise the Mass at all. Before, I could visit any church and would be able to follow the Mass, say the responses and kneel, stand at the right moments. Suddenly I was in the dark. Latin had disappeared, (I’m not complaining, it is a beautiful language but I understand many can’t relate to a latin Mass if not used to it), and the choreography, responses and everything I thought I knew were different. I persevered for my children’s sake and began to feel as if I belonged after quite a long time.
The trouble with this idea of belonging is that it doesn’t last – you worry that your church isn’t proactive enough, friendly enough, doing enough and you look at other churches and are tempted to experiment, especially if it isn’t a ‘comfortable’ church to belong to, there are issues with other people, lack of connection, lack of interaction. It may be that there is no such thing as a perfect church as we are all imperfect, you can try others until you find your fit, but try not to lose your way when you do that.
We have a very rudimentary idea of the kind of church God wanted us to have. We have the words at the Last Supper ‘do this in memory of me’ and Jesus making Peter his rock ‘and on this rock I will build my church’. No blueprint for how we should construct our church other than this and the greatest commandment: to love God and each other and we manifest this within our church. We often don’t manage this. People are leaving the church in droves and we have to question why? Modern life is shutting God out – wealth, internet, freedom, you can name so many things and they get in the way of our journey with God. Poverty and suffering can bring us back as we can focus on what matters: our faith and relationship with God and a greater reliance on him.
I think when listening to someone or reading what they have to say, you need to know what their dogma is – what are the fundamental tenets they hold. First and foremost, belief in the resurrection is a must – what are we all doing if we don’t believe that after we die there is another existence? To cease to exist after death doesn’t make sense to me. I was very surprised when I met someone a while ago who told me they go to a church which they call a christian church but they don’t believe in the resurrection. How do they give people who mourn someone who has died any comfort or hope? What about those that lead dreadful pain-filled short or long lives – do we say tough – sorry but the only thing you have to look forward to is death? God is here and loves you but once you die, that’s it? I did say I’d rather go to the pub. Going to church offers me hope in an eternal life above all else. How could God love us if he creates us and then just as a model has its use then becomes scrap, we no longer matter enough to sustain our existence? Each and every one of us is unique, we all have something to offer no matter how small. God loves us to distraction and wants us to be with him for eternity.
St Paul called his journey to God a race that he would run until the end. It is a struggle to keep going sometimes – people, money worries, deaths, illness can all put you off course – don’t compare yourself to others either – there will always be people who appear more holy than you. You can only walk your own path!
God bless,
Widows Mote 